1000 Days Later

3 Years - just over 1000 days. It’s amazing how much can change in that relative short eternity. But here I am, at the end of those one thousand days, and I must say, things are coming up Epson!



The last 3 years were spent grinding away trying to acquire some semblance of a skill set to offer the business world. Upon entering my third decade of life, I have achieved a minor but significant victory. A taste of victory, even a minor one, is so sweet relative to the obscurity of the bitter, sour grind. To be fair, I’ve enjoyed the time in the grind, but through it all the sliver of alpha male within me has been at constant conflict with my ability to achieve satisfaction with my last 3 years. It's been a part optimism, a part pessimism, mixed with a possibly unhealthy dose of masculine ego.

I turned 30 this March. Call it coincidence or call it superstition, but my 30th year has turned out to be pretty fantastic. I think this is going to be a great decade. I hope these old bones hold up long enough for me to enjoy all that is coming my way.
I gave some serious thought about what I wanted to write about in this comeback entry. Nothing seemed really appropriate, so I decided to keep it short and give thanks to where it's due. This entry is dedicated to a teacher that started me down the path to where I am today, and where I will be headed in the near and distant future.

Thank you Mrs. Varesco. Your caring guidance led me through that impossible first year in the United States. Armed with barely a grasp of the English alphabet, I was tossed into the wolf’s den of an American 3rd grade classroom. Living up to the Asian stereotype, I excelled at math but struggled with English and all things American. Mrs. Varesco helped me navigate the turbulent waters of that critical transitional year, and she did it with a gentle yet firm touch. She put a preemptive stop to possible bullying. She disciplined me when I got out of line, but never too harshly or without consideration of my fragile transitional state. She helped me enjoy my first Halloween, my first American Valentines, and all manners of other trivial yet critical milestones along my path to becoming an American. She taught me the meaning behind celebrating MLK, a concept that could not have been more foreign to a Taiwanese immigrant.

Thanks to her, I became an American.

The hour grows late and this bear needs his beauty(less) sleep. I will make an honest effort to update regularly, a promise I have made in the past but one that I fully intend to uphold this time around. Goodnight reader(s).

Mr. Burns: I’ll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

I went to a pretty interesting conference in DC sponsored by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation yesterday dealing with PHR's (personal health records).  Overall it was quite informative and I definitely learned a thing or four.  However, one major take away point was the following: Fun with buzz words!

"The synergistic paradigm of the future PHR ecosystem empowers consumers to become proactive in their own health."

I made that one up (quite proud of it too), but it is certainly something you might have heard at the conference.  I assure you the underlined words were uttered multiple times, and with great conviction, by many of the speakers.  I should also underline "consumers," since, framed in a healthcare context, they adamantly insist on using that term instead of "patient," "individual," or my personal favorite, "people."  What's wrong with using simple and direct language these days?

Now for a relevant Simpsons quote!

Krusty: So he's proactive, huh?

Lady: Oh, God, yes.  We're talking about a totally outrageous paradigm.

Writer: Excuse me, but "proactive" and "paradigm"?  Aren't these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important?

[pause] ...Not that I'm accusing you of anything like that.

[pause] ...I'm fired, aren't I?

Meyers: Oh yes.

Concerning Hobbits

To take the road less traveled, that has made all the difference.  I have a feeling, however, that Robert didn’t intend for this idea to be applied to such extremes as it has been in my life.  I seem to go out of my way to find the road not only less traveled, but also filled with poisonous snakes, concealed pit traps, and man-eating sharks with lasers on their heads.  Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out if I just stayed in the Shire and kept to the safer gentler paths.  Unfortunately life doesn’t do mulligans, so I can only plow forward, praying with each step that a divine power is leading me to a satisfactory destination.  A narrower destination than the alternative, I hope.

Back in high school, I took private tennis lessons and worked tirelessly to climb the ranks within the school team.  In my senior year, I was supposed to be captain of the team as well as play in the highest spot, that of first singles.  On our second day of practice early in that season, it began to rain and we ended early, and I decided to go watch my friends at volleyball practice in the gym.  After ten minutes, I knew, without question, that I wanted to play volleyball.  It was absolute foolishness, to throw away thousands of dollars of training, discard hundreds of hours of practice, and step down from the top leading position on the team to pursue this whim.  And yet, in my heart, I knew.  Without hesitation or question, I knew.  So I quit the team and played varsity volleyball that season, brushed up on my dusty volleyball skills and trained rigorously, and ended up as the starting middle blocker for our team.  I was happy.  And as with any good Hollywood movie, our undersized underdog team that barely made it into the playoffs ended up winning the championship.  I was certainly not the best player in our starting six-man roster, but I can say with confidence that they could not have won it all without my contribution.

Old habits die hard, and as you all already know, I quit medical school with just one year left until completion.  Absolute foolishness yet again, but I knew with the same unwavering conviction and certainty that medicine was not my path and that it was time to leave.  I am happy.  It would have been smart to graduate and get those delightful letters “M” and “D” behind my name, but one of my many flaws is I am not a man of subtleties.  I deal in absolutes, and it was absolutely time for me to leave.  It’s odd that I don’t enjoy Absolut Vodka as much as I should…

I got a job offer today.  A healthcare software company based in Wisconsin is willing to pay me a good amount of money to go there and be their dancing monkey.  After some research, however, the position that I once thought was perfect may in fact hide a darker more sinister side.  Nothing illegal or immoral, mind you, but simply a side that may ultimately not only be of little help to my future career and pursuits, but may in fact compromise my long-term goals.  Having gone nearly four months without a job, the easy decision would be to take this well paying offer and make the best of it.  However, I feel a familiar whimsical feeling rising from the pits of my stomach.  Do I dare entertain the whim yet again?  Maybe it’s just diarrhea?  I think in this case I need to arm myself with more detailed research and knowledge of the company and other possibilities elsewhere.  But if I end up in the same position I am in now after the proper due diligence, do I dare reject this offer of manna from the skies?

I hope I do not linger here too long to watch the woods fill with snow.  It’s easy to fall into a lull after experiencing an extended respite from a life of productivity, but my pride, ambitions, and dreams will keep me warm and see me through this dark winter.  There are so many miles to go before I sleep.  I pray that this snowy path I have chosen, along with future forks in the road and those respective paths, will lead me to the destination miles and miles away, beyond what my mortal eyes can currently see.

In closing, I would like to apologize to Mr. Frost for the blatant plagiarism and foolish misuse of his words.  Nothing like a little plagiarism to make your own words sound more profound!

Leonard Nimoy: Hello. I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No. 

Yogurt Drinks

"Go say goodbye to your grandfather," said his dad as he loaded up the last of the suitcases into the van. The little boy, only eight years young, walked back into the house towards the dingy stuffy room he usually tries to avoid. Half holding his breath, the boy tiptoed into the room. His grandfather lied in bed, in his usual state of being not quite awake but far from sleep.

"Bye grandpa."

The elderly man turned in bed and looked over. Despite being over eighty years old, there was still a dignified fire burning in his eyes. The boy waved briefly, and began heading back outside to the van. Before hopping into the backseat he opened up his fanny pack, making sure all of his most prized toys and possessions were coming with him to the new world. Looking back at the house one last time, he noticed something odd - his grandfather got out of bed, made his way to the front door, and silently watched as the van pulled away. He thought this rather odd and uncharacteristic behavior, but unfortunately the naivety of youth made him oblivious to the gravity of the situation. Little did the boy know he would be responsible for his grandfather's death.

It would be many years later before the boy realized what he had done. Even though it wasn't his fault, a lingering sense of guilt creeps up each time he reflects upon that moment at the front door of his old house in Taiwan. If only he had said more than just "bye grandpa," he might feel less guilty. But then again, what could he have said? What are the appropriate words to tell someone, who dedicated their entire existence towards your happiness, that you were leaving permanently? If he could relive that moment again, he might have at least shed a tear. Perhaps some visual pathos could convey what simple words could not.

He realizes now that he was the reason grandpa stayed alive. It was a full time job, walking the boy to school, sneaking him a few coins to buy toys or snacks, keeping the fridge stocked with yogurt drinks, and making sure the boy was healthy and fat. The reason he sat on the couch watching weird Chinese operas on TV in the afternoon was so he could catch the moment the boy returned from school to promptly begin doting on him. Of course being eight years old, he could not truly appreciate how blessed he was to have grandpa around. Instead he was always embarrassed when the old man would constantly spit on the street as they walked to school, eagerly anticipating the moment when he could wiggle free from grandpa's hand and run away into the school. He was too young to know any better.

After a few years in the United States, the boy went back to Taiwan to visit relatives. He walked into his old house, everything a bit smaller now than what he remembered. His grandfather was sleeping in the same dingy stuffy room, unaware that his grandson had returned for a couple days. The room's moldy stench had gotten stronger over the years.

"Hi grandpa."

His grandfather turned in bed and their eyes met. The dignified fire in his eyes that once burned strong was now a wisp of smoke, and he seemed merely a shell of a man. After his grandson left, there was no reason for him to leave the room anymore, and slowly he became more and more secluded, and with that seclusion his life slowly drained away. Seeing his grandson for the first time in four years, however, rekindled a little bit of life back in the old man. He got up out of bed and left the room for the first time in weeks. He kept the fridge stocked with yogurt drinks, and gave the boy some coins to buy toys and snacks. The boy downed the yogurt drinks with zeal, although the coins no longer held much value since he was now in the business of American dollars. For two days, grandpa was alive again, and for two days he had a purpose again. Those two days would be the last time he saw his grandfather alive.

At the funeral service in China three years later, the boy, now a young man of sixteen years, walked up to the casket to pay his final respects. He looked down at his grandfather, sleeping soundly, the fire now completely extinguished. If his grandfather were to wake up from this slumber by some supernatural means, the first thing on his mind would probably be to find the nearest convenience store and buy some yogurt drinks for his grandson. He couldn't help but smile at this thought, as a tear rolled down his cheek and onto the ground.

Homer: "Marge, please. Old people don't need companionship, they need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that can be extracted for our personal use!"

Marge: "Homer, would you please stop reading that Ross Perot pamphlet?"

Number Theory

Quite some time has passed between the previous entry and this much overdo entry, so I will attempt to fill you in on some the inconsequential happenings of these last one and a half months. As far as my job search goes, things are progressing, albeit rather slowly. I guess this is partially my fault, as I have not been the most proactive in my endeavors to find employment. I do have a couple prospects lined up, however, and I feel pretty good about where things are headed. It’s unfortunate however that I missed the recruiting season for most of the large consulting companies, since those were supposed to be some of my safety nets in this whole job search circus. Instead I’m left walking this tightrope with only the harsh reality of failure staring back at me. It’s quite a fall to the bottom, I should at least have taken out some life insurance. Mistakes of youth, what can you do?

On the parental front, the storm has finally passed and things have settled down quite a bit. There’s really not much to say publicly in those regards, so if you’re curious about the details you can ask me privately and I’ll be more than happy to regale you with tales of courage and fantastic adventures. Oh wait, that was Lord of the Rings. My tales are much less captivating, but they may be worthwhile to the curious.

Yesterday was my 27^th birthday. I was informed the day before that this was my “golden birthday,” and until that time I didn’t know such a concept existed. For those of you who are as ignorant as I am, it’s when you turn the same age as the day of your birthday - pretty arbitrary if you ask me. What I’m much more excited about was the fact 27 is three to the third power (three is my lucky number). My birthday, 3/27/81, can be broken down into powers (not just multiples!) of 3, so 3^1, 3^3, 3^4, and having my age also fit that pattern means this will be a great year. It also means I’m a huge nerd, but you guys already knew that, so stop judging me you bastards.

Seriously though, just as I was relieved and excited about the arrival of 2008, I am absolutely ecstatic about what my 27^th year of life will bring. This is going to be a great year, and by “great” I actually mean “inconceivably awesome.” New career, new outlook on life, renewed dedication to the pursuit of Faith, new BMW 5 series, new hot girls, new penthouse in Vegas… Ok scratch those last few, but the first batch are still good. My uncharacteristically high spirits aside, I am looking forward to this year very much. One thing I’ve come to accept is that nothing happens by coincidence, and the events of this previous year happened for very good reasons. It’s much easier to say that in hindsight (a reoccurring theme in my blog it seems) but standing here at this very moment, things make a lot of sense. My ducks are finally in a row, swimming around happily, unaware of how delicious they taste. (That last bit wasn’t meant to be metaphorical - I just really like eating duck.)

On an unrelated note, I actually had an idea for a bit of semi-creative writing to post up here, but I think I’ll flounder around with that project in the near future. After all, 4:10am is late even by my freakishly night-owl standards. I will definitely try to update more often and attempt to keep you all moderately entertained. Okbye for now.

(I really want to get some Peking duck now…)

(I am aware of the changing spacing/font. Seems to be a discrepancy between my desktop PC and Macbook. Deal with it.)

Barney: Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting.
Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?